Corona And Me

Since Thursday 19^th March evening I am confined to my house. And now with an official lockdown announced by Prime Minister of India for 21 days, this seems like a house arrest. Here are my reflections from this time. Everyone around the world has been hit by these circumstances and I hope our stories help each other tide over these times

Where is the Virus?

The virus is in the infected person. It is also in our perspective. The virus in our perspective is more dangerous than the virus inside an infected person.

I find it funny when I read stories of people cursing the Chinese or airline staff or even our North-East states for the spread of the virus.

The most surprising aspect for me is the stigma attached to this virus. It’s a flu that spreads very fast. So, we should be more accepting if we get it and inform authorities rather than hiding it and running away from the quarantine setups. I haven’t figured out why this is happening but am saddened by these behaviors more than the spread of the virus itself.

What Is the Virus Doing?

Apart from all the loss of human life, productivity and economic output, the virus is also testing our patience. It is a time when we are all confined to our homes or spaces that are familiar or unfamiliar both outside and within ourselves.

In this time, we are forced to relook at our schedules and fill up the commute time with meaningful tasks or activities. Being in a customer-facing role, I realized how much time I used to get during commute which I do not know what to do with now.

In times of social distancing, we are thinking of people whom we care about and ensuring we video call them. This has made us realize how intimate this space is. While I have hundreds of contacts on my phone there are just a handful of people whom I have thought about in this first week and have reached out to check on them.

This one has told me to maintain the social distance from most others while focusing on the distance between the intimate few.

What the Virus is Not Doing?

In these times in a country like India, we are not becoming cautious and conscious of our choices. The behavior of hoarding and fighting for survival is very natural to most of us and I have personally experienced its ugly face in the last few days.

I am personally struggling to be more disciplined in these times. When you do not have to go anywhere outside your house, it is very difficult for you to follow a routine. I am wondering how this physical boundary is held in my mind. I am attempting to work on this aspect during these 21 days.

If these 21 days grow into 42 or 63 days how would I cope? What routine or habits I need to build or strengthen to ensure I survive and thrive in this phase? While I have this thought or idea, the expectation that “normalcy” will return is forcing me to not do anything about it. So the virus is not forcing me to rethink fundamentally how I want to live and work post this period. Or wait is it?

Who is the Virus?

I am the virus. You are the virus. Aren’t we all the virus?

Is this an external manifestation of our greed and our desire to be everything and everywhere?

Does the virus remind us of how quickly we can grow and how quickly it can all decline?

Are we reminded of how little we need and how much more we already have?

With nature and wildlife claiming some of the empty spaces around the world, what are we most reminded of?

Corona = Ko Rona

If I break the word like above and convert into our national language, then it means Rona (to cry). Having learned to cry in the recent past I know the importance of the ability to cry. It is the most underrated and gender-biased ability in our societies.

In this situation, some of the existential questions that I have been dealing with are – Who will I cry for? Who will cry for me?

Asking these questions to myself has been an important revelation and discovery about my patterns and actions. Individuals who have been deeply hurt by me are still part of this list. Similarly, individuals who deeply hurt me are also part of this list. Interestingly, the most joyous moments of my life are also shared with the same set of individuals. The most memorable happy moments are with these individuals.

If I made you laugh, I am likely to make you cry someday.

With that logic, I am hoping this virus, which is making us cry today, may make us laugh tomorrow. Until then stay safe, stay healthy, stay indoors and stay happy.